What Would Alex Bosika Do?

“All marketers tell stories. And if they do it right, we believe them. We believe that wine tastes better in a $20 glass than a $1 glass. We believe that an $80,000 Porsche Cayenne is vastly superior to a $36,000 VW Touareg, even if it is virtually the same car. We believe that $225 Pumas will make our feet feel better—and look cooler—than $20 no names… and believing it makes it true.” — Seth Godin

However, to the most skeptical audiences (my lady), all marketers areliars. I won’t take it personally that she’s indirectly called me a liar. (LOL)  But she is absolutely right in most cases simply because the story isn’t strong enough to convince us otherwise.  In a recent experience with IKEA, their Midnight Madness Sale wasn’t worth the matter it was printed on.  More to follow…

“I wasn’t being completely truthful with you when I named this book. Marketers aren’t liars. They are just storytellers… I was trying to go to the edges. No one would hate a book called All Marketers Are Storytellers. No one would disagree with it. No one would challenge me on it. No one would talk about it.^” — Seth Godin

My lady (I love you Jacqueline) is one heck of a smart lady.  An accountant by trade, she has become a master budget-er for specific reasons.  As a result, she is on top of GREAT DEALS when she sees them.  No, she’s not a COUPON hunter but she IS a DEAL hunter.  Who wouldn’t be?  Let me line up our story.

IKEA did a great job promoting the midnight madness event through traditional channels (retail and local flyers) in the Burlington region to promote this maddening sale.  While the lady and I were not made aware of this one-time annual event through new media channels (online, mobile), we had an opportunity to venture out and shop for some deals on June 27.

Jacqueline: “Do you want to go see if there are any deals?”

Alex:  “Do you want to go? I am skeptical because they mention “select items” and we have no idea what that could mean.  For all we know, it’s a discount of a fork or spoon set versus some furniture or bed set that we really want.”

(She: dressed and ready to sleep. Me: About to get ready to sleep)

Alex:  “Let’s do it!  It’s one time a year.  Let’s get our lazy asses in gear and go.  Who knows what we’ll find!?! Maybe IKEA will surprise!”

Jacqueline (shocked look on her face):  “You REALLY want to go SHOP?”

Alex:  “Sure, why not!”

THE PROBLEM:

• We (Jacqueline/I) Don’t Believe IKEA’s Midnight Madness Event

It’s normal for consumers to be skeptical.  Most marketing affairs are “too good to be true” and littered with “fine print too sneaky to print in large text”!  After all, you’re asking busy people with careers to haul their asses off to some late midnight affair (something we normally never do!) for some deals — on a whim — tired and all, in the hopes of finding some great, great deals.  To get people out for a midnight event, the deals really have to be amazing.  As you’ll note above, we already had predetermined expectations what this “madness” event would turn into.  A complete dud.

Here’s my (web) foursquare check-in with predetermined expectations about the IKEA “Midnight Madness Sale” Event.  Not good.

The Results of Our Midnight Madness Milk Run:

• A random walk around deal-less lane
• Deals really were few and far between (maybe we weren’t the target audience?)
• We had no idea what “select items” would be part of the midnight madness sale (Why not just tell us and make it worthwhile for the people that really want the items under the “Madness Sale” umbrella)
• Most people walked around with very little in their shopping cart (empty hands translate into disgruntled social media voices and friends/family voice boxes)
• Ladies looked at small knick knack items instead of big ticket items (Really? You got people to come out — at midnight — to get them to buy things they could normally buy on any other day since they weren’t sale items)
• We saw very few big ticket items on sale — really (we looked hard)
• Yawning, tired people walked around struggling to “find the deal”!
• Staff looking tired and unhappy to be there until midnight
• Upon departure, purchase exit bays were “very thin” with very few people really buying anything that would equate to a “madness event” with crowds en masse

IN SHORT:

THIS MIDNIGHT MADNESS SALE BY IKEA WAS A MAJOR DUD.

My FLICKr/Twitter/Facebook Status Update:

To balance out my criticisms, I searched for similar commentary about the IKEA event and found a bunch of consumers sharing the same degree of skepticism and disappointment (not sure why the dates for the message threads were different but perhaps IKEA was rotating midnight madness between locations).

Below, some comments from the Red Flag Deals forum:

kwanja

Jun 20th, 2012, 11:44 AM

Would be nice if they gave us a list of said “select items” in advance.

Jun 21st, 2012, 12:43 AM

Does anyone think office furniture (the Hemnes Secretary Desk in particular) will see a sale soon? I’ve been holding off buying hoping for a sale.

djemzine

Jun 21st, 2012, 08:27 AM

Nothing that good in both North York and Vaughan. Definitely can get my night’s sleep heh.

smp

Jun 21st, 2012, 08:34 AM

Is it just the stuff in the flyers or is there lots more stuff on sale?

Neovingian

Jun 21st, 2012, 10:34 AM

what a lackluster sale,the GTA gets shafted on this sale, the Adal TV bench isn’t a bad price @ $39, too bad its not that price anywhere in the GTA

angekfire

Jun 21st, 2012, 10:48 AM

The Ottawa deals look pretty cold as usual.

chienpourri

Jun 21st, 2012, 09:50 PM

Nothing much interesting sadly… I was look at kitchen tables & chairs but nothing in that area on sale.

dtrader69

Jun 22nd, 2012, 06:50 PM

so what’s everyone getting and when is everyone showing up?
in past experience, how is the stock level? and do people line up?

Gotoff

Jun 22nd, 2012, 10:54 PM

worst sale ever.
wasted 3 hours of my family’s time.
oh yeah, it wasn’t busy at all at the ny location

hola2005

Jun 25th, 2012, 09:34 PM

I went to local Ikea and there was a 50% discount on all large potted plants. Ended up getting a $20 off a $40 dollar plant.

The negatives definitely outweighed the positives for IKEA’s sale.  No doubt, word of mouth will travel faster on this one through the social media sphere and through friends and family networks.  I’d bet the folks above, like my lady and I, won’t venture out again and believe (did we ever?) that IKEA’s Midnight Sale is a must-attend event.

SOME FIXES TO THE PROBLEM:

1. Your sale must be rock-bottom and hit all customers.  What does this mean? For a brief moment in time, IKEA is going to make LESS money (YES, LESS MONEY, NO, NOT A LOSS) for SIX short hours oneverything in the store.  You’re going to move away from “select items” and shoot for “most items” or “all items” to knock the socks of all expectations and predetermined viewpoints about IKEA and sales.  This includes keeping the same sale across ALL stores.  Not select locations!  Remember, it is a midnight madness sale.  Make it chaotic!
2. Your mobile strategy should not only be used to “re-create” the brochure experience (fancy effort to digitize a magazine) but must tap into the full service experience:  database queries for in-stock items, on-sale items, items on sale for midnight madness (based on location), delivery scheduling, in-app purchasing, how-to installation videos, consumers reviews and so on.
3. Stronger use of a video marketing platform to promote the midnight madness sale (ask people what they expect to see on sale and surprise them!), new products for sale during this short period, and so on.  Past experience at a midnight madness sale.  Make people “feel” the sale with interactive videos that are real, natural and human!
4. I got the impression from the Red Flags forum threads that information was confusing and spare and that deal-hunters were relying more on themselves to get clear information than IKEA itself.  Surely, this is a lesson that IKEA needs to provide a better lead up in launch marketing to this event, package offers better, deploy communication channels more effectively, and deliver a better, richer experience interactively for online and mobile users.

The typical failed marketing program is one that creates hype, buzz and unrealistic expectations only to be followed by stipulations, restrictions and fine-print.  That stuff has to end.  People want deals in a tough economy.  Yes, IKEA needs to make money.  Agreed.  However, if you want to associate yourself to being a deal-crazy retail brand once a year with a “MIDNIGHT MADNESS SALE”, you have to MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE YOU.  If you under-deliver, the damage is done this year and every year thereafter TIMES 20 or TIMES 1000 depending on how deep one’s social media network is.  Imagine if it was the other way around.  People are stunned and dumbfounded to find some amazing deals, they talk about it to friends, family and their social media networks…then what happens? TRAFFIC. 

Let people do the marketing for you.  Be good to be great!

In this day and age, there is no excuse for this.  You dig your own grave if you promote on high expectations and deliver well below a predetermined set of expectations.  Frankly, IKEA’s 2012 Midnight Madness Sale was NOT “Swedish for Common Sense.” 

When Jacqueline and I walked backed to our car, another couple that just parked asked, “Found nothing?”  It was 11:30pm and we’d spent 30 minutes to get to the destination and spent 45 minutes trying to find some good deals. We replied, “Not really.  Was a complete dud from our perspective.  Take a look at the purchase exit bays there.  Not many cars or mad panic there to take merchandise out, eh?”  I then added, “Good luck.  Maybe you’ll find something that works for you.”

Want to change your internet service provider?

GET YOUR NOTEPAD READY. :-)  And find a better way to explain this to your lady so she doesn’t think it’s all b**lsh*t and m*rketing (yes, marketing has become a dirty word). :-) 

The above notepad assembled information from a wholesaler competitor which has been a thorn in the back-side of Bell, Rogers, Cogeco, Shaw and others.  That said, I worked in telecom on the internet services side so none of this is unfamiliar territory to me. 

However, imagine what the story is like to a new consumer who is looking for alternative choice in choosing their bandwidth?  Messy. 

(See Michael Geist).

This article is not a rant against the alternative choices but more on the complexity of the issue and how consumers get caught up in the jungle called competition, regulatory frameworks, and what’s “fair”. 

Me:  Hi, how are you today?

Teksavvy (TS):  OK, and you?

Me:  Not bad.

Me:  Listen, I am calling to find out about your service, pricing, and what will be required to make a change.  My lady isn’t happy with her current provider (Cogeco!) and her bill is a budget-busting $100 plus on internet access alone (she doesn’t have VOIP, Cable, On-Demand or any specialty).

TS: OK.

Me:  Anyhow, she has a capped plan that has a maximum overage fee.  The higher plans now come with contracts, higher cap limits and an even more expensive per GB charge once she exceeds the cap.  The overage fee doesn’t have a maximum.  Transation: Highway dollar robbery.

TS: OK. Hmm mmm.

Me:  So, let’s look at your access options.  Cable and DSL since your wholesale deal is from Rogers and Bell.

TS:  OK, to start we’ll need to know your postal code, address and if you have a house or apartment/condo.

Me:  OK, the address and postal code is THIS and it’s a condo dwelling.  While you’re searching, what’s the current down rate for cable and DSL.  Cable is 28 MBS and DSL (Fiber) is 25MBS.

TS:  Ok, Ok, Ok…sir, please wait while I check our systems.  Ok, based on the location, we do not have support for cable in this area.  However, there is a DSL option. 

SCRATCH CABLE FROM THE TABLE!

Me:  OK, let’s work the DSL option.

TS:  I will need to know the actual condo/apt. number of the unit to check for connectivity and support level.

Me: OK, it’s UNIT “So and So”. 

TS:  OK…please wait.  OK, so we can support DSL BUT we can only offer 16MBS. 

Me:  That’s not bad.  I think it’s more than her current Cogeco plan.  Is it unlimited? Is there a contract?

TS:  No contracts and definitely unlimited.

Me:  As I expected.  The other guys are trying to sweet-lock people into longer term contracts now, like a wireless bill, with cancellation penalties etc.  In this day and age, consumers really shouldn’t feel like they’re in a stranglehold.  It’s their money and their choice and decision.  An end to the jail terms!

TS:  Hahahahahaha

OK, I’m not THAT funny but thanks for your support :-)

Me:  OK, tell me about pricing and fees.

TS:  OK, is there a landline connection into the unit.

Me:  Nope, only VOIP line services were used until we dumped all that for Skype and Vonage plans.  I know where we’re going with this since I worked at Bell.  We need a DRY LOOP setup, right?

TS:  Yes, exactly!

Me:  How much is that? I remember it was around the $10/month mark.

TS: Sec, yes, almost!  It is $9.10/month

Me: OK, how much is the unlimited 16MBS plan.

TS: $59.95/month.

Me: Anything else I need to be aware of with pricing and fees?

TS: Yes, there is a one-time activation fee.  $75.  We need to get a Bell technician to come to the location (not inside the dwelling unit) to setup FTTN (love the FTTN guys at Bell!  Miss ya!) which stands for “Fibre to the Node” to support these higher speeds.  The other part of the fee covers another contract technician coming into the dwelling unit to setup/configure for dry loop access to the DSL service.

Me:  Yep, remember all these details well at Bell.  Remember when I worked for Bell.  Bell was losing subscriber opportunities without the dry loop option because DSL required a landline at the time. 

TS: I see. Interesting, um.  OK.

Me: OK, anything else? I mean, other fees?

TS:  Yes.  You need a modem. 

Me:  What are my options?

TS:  You have three options!  (Me: So exciting….). 

1. A modem with 1-port (to connect a wireless router) - $75
2. A modem with 4-ports - $99
3. A modem with 4-ports and built-in wireless — $130

Me:  OK, so I really only need door #1 as we have a wireless router which has its own parts.  Can I look for different modems?

TS:  Sure, you can look for compatible DSL or ADSL modems (not locked to a incumbent provider — Bell etc) for a cheaper price.  You save $20 if you buy one of your own modems.

Me: Do your modems have a warranty?

TS: Yes.  One year.  Our 516’s are reliable and we’ve not heard of any issues.

Me: OK.  How long to make this magic happen and get your service connected?

TS:  Approximately 7-8 business days.  Basically, we schedule the Bell technician and the contract technician to come in the same day.  The contract technician does in-unit installation work between 12pm-9pm.

Me:  OK.  Thanks for your patience and have a wonderful day.

TS:  Thank you and we look forward to serving you well.

This was a 15+ minute call only because I forgot some details.  I have heard great things about Teksavvy from co-workers and friends.

I’d make one recommendation to the Teksavvy team.  Unless I missed it, a good video walk-through on this process would be better than a website for the layperson who would figure this out. Why would I recommend this? For a bad joke, I called my lady and explained everything in detail and her reply was, “Wha wha wha?!!!” Her next comment was, “So what does this mean? Is it better? More cost friendly to my pocketbook?”.

LOL!  My point exactly.

This is major overhead for consumers not “teksavvy” enough (grin) to make the transition to an alternative choice.  Don’t get me wrong — the Tekksavvy rep did a fantastic job but if you look a the flow of the conversation and the screenshot, this is a fairly complex decision-making process. 

The process is not great for consumers, difficult for alternative choice wholesalers and challenging for incumbents who have core expertise, infrastructure investments and an inherent fear of customer churn and slippage (losing customers) that new contracts are now included as part of bundled packages (at least, this is how I’ve heard the packages sold to me)